ALT.TASTELESS DEAD POOL 2003

ALT.TASTELESS DEAD POOL 2003
ALT.TASTELESS DEAD POOL 2003:
THE RULES

Here are the Rules, as posted in alt.tasteless on October 14, 2002:

1. How the game is played: It's so simple a drooling tard can play. You gotta pick ten names of celebrities you think or fervently hope will die in 2003. You pick your celebs, you send a properly prepared email, and you wait all year. When someone on your list goes toes up in 2003, you score a point. One death on the list equals one point. He or she who ends up with the most points on 1-1-04 wins.

2. Each name's gotta be a bona fide celebrity. For the definition of celebrity, I'll use the same parameters we've used in years past: Someone who'd be in the mainstream ragsheets in the US, UK, Australia, Canada, and other semicivilized worlds. No obscure shitwipes like the inventor of the barium enema or the employee of the month at Habib's Used Camel Emporium in South Yemen. No Death Row inmates either. How you choose your celebs, though, is up to you. For some amusement and information, you can peruse the Dead People Server (http://www.dpsinfo.com/dps/index.html). For those of you wondering: Yes, there will be tons of people picking the obvious favorites like the Pope or Bob Hope, who have been clinging to life for years now and who keep showing up like acid reflux. No, I won't disallow the entries of the walking dead or weight the scores because these candidates are already circling the drain. I haven't got that kind of fucking time or energy. Bite me.

3. Oh, and another thing: Dead means dead, not merely clinging to life in some fucking irreversible coma. No vegetables. To qualify as dead, there's gotta be an actual corpse.

4. Once you've selected your ten names, email your picks to impress1964@yahoo.com WITH THE SUBJECT LINE "Dead Pool Picks." N.B: If the subject line doesn't say "Dead Pool Picks," I won't read the email and your entry will be null and void. I'm trying to cut down on the fucking email worms and viruses I get, so I'm not opening mail I don't fucking recognize. Don't like it? Blow me.

5. You gotta send me your picks by 12-31-02. Late entries not permitted.

6. I will not post any of the picks until after 1-1-03. That way no one gets inspired by someone else's choices.

7. If one of your picks dies before 12-31-02, or if you change your mind about your selections, you can email new picks. But don't be a wet fart and abuse the privilege. If I think you're being a shitty little pain in the ass because you've sent me an annoying, seemingly endless series of changes, I'll introduce you to the cluebat and remove your fat sorry ass from the runnings. Don't piss me off. One or two changes, okay. More than that, and you're asking for a one way ticket to suck Osama's choad.

8. The page will be hosted at http://www.ila.com/atdp03.htm

9. In ATDP03, I am the law. No begging, whining, simpering, or crying allowed, but monetary bribes and offers of oral pleasure will be considered.